Scrapbooking is one hobby I love. I have found it to be very therapeutic after Caleb's death. I have set a goal for myself to have the whole life of Caleb (as well as the rest of my family during that time) completed before the new baby is born. I want to be able to journal on all of the pages and I know that once the new baby comes, Lord willing, my mind will be in a fog for a while.
I am going to ask everyone in the family to comment on each page if they have any memories or thoughts or want to share anything about the specific event, or Caleb or the family in general.
It is a big goal and I'm not sure that I can complete it, but I will be able to devote a little more time once the kiddos are in school starting on Wednesday.
My husband has many goals too...starting with tearing out the carpet in the bathroom....hint...never have a carpet in a bathroom, especially with four boys in the house! He wants to replace it with tile.
The only problem with that goal of my husband's is that is the only bathroom that we have in the house for 7 people (including a pregnant woman--me!) We won't be able to use the bathroom for at least a day! Yikes!
I will take my 11 year old son to the eye doctor's again tomorrow. I brought him there last week because his younger brother decided to fling a RISK game character via a plastic spoon at the fan (he was conducting an experiment at age 7) and is not a good aim. He hit his brother in the eye and now his brother has a big scratch on his eye. Then Saturday night his older brother was twisting a rubber lizard in his hand and didn't realize that his brother was nearby and hit him again in the same injured eye!
He is still struggling with the injuries a week later and had me up twice last night in pain. I will be thankful to have the eye doctor look at it again tomorrow.
On the anniversary of Caleb's death a dear friend of mine left a gift on my doorstep. She gave my family a jug of lemonade. I called her up and said "you are always trying to make lemonade out of lemons!" :) It is true. She is a Christian friend of ours and has been a huge support for us. What a wonderful gift that was.
Good things have come from Caleb's death...not that I would have traded him for anything, but after a tragedy such as Caleb's it is nice to see that good can come from a trial such as ours.
Tomorrow I'm going to see if the local farmers are set up beside the road and enjoy some more corn on the cob. I have really enjoyed it this year and I will be sad when the corn season is over. It is such a treat. Our tomato plants from our garden keep producing and we are eating cherry tomatoes like candy around here. My husband will take some to work with him tomorrow to share.
Praying that you and your families are doing well.
With love and hope,
Cheryl
Hello! I am a wife, married for 23 years and a mother to seven. I have two daughters and five sons, one of whom is in heaven. We love the Lord are trying to bring our children up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4) We live in the Northeast in a cozy 100+ year old house. Welcome to my blog.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Friend Award
My friend Trennia at http://stillservinghimthroughthestorm.blogspot.com/ gave me this sweet blog reward and I proudly except it! This award is bestowed on to blogs that are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to six bloggers who must choose six more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.
Thank you very much Trennia for being so thoughtful and "friendly" :)
I am giving this award to:
Jenny at: http://hoster777.blogspot.com/
Lea at: http://nicholastouch.blogspot.com/
New friend at: http://myhrtscry.blogspot.com/
Kristy at: http://babybolte.blogspot.com/
Devon at: http://momof3miracles.blogspot.com/
Crystal at: http://spencer-crystal5.blogspot.com/
Congrats to each of you..each one of these bloggers and there are so many more of you out there..I just wanted to let each of you know you inspire me and I love reading your blogs! So get blogging~~~Bloggeretts~~
With love and hope,
Cheryl
Thank you very much Trennia for being so thoughtful and "friendly" :)
I am giving this award to:
Jenny at: http://hoster777.blogspot.com/
Lea at: http://nicholastouch.blogspot.com/
New friend at: http://myhrtscry.blogspot.com/
Kristy at: http://babybolte.blogspot.com/
Devon at: http://momof3miracles.blogspot.com/
Crystal at: http://spencer-crystal5.blogspot.com/
Congrats to each of you..each one of these bloggers and there are so many more of you out there..I just wanted to let each of you know you inspire me and I love reading your blogs! So get blogging~~~Bloggeretts~~
With love and hope,
Cheryl
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Summer is Coming to a Close
As I sit here I realize that summer day trips, swimming in friend's pools and just relaxing at home are soon coming to an end. I am saddened that the children will be gone all day, but happy too. They need structure and I can tell that they will benefit from the scheduled days at school and also they will get to see their friends a lot more.
My oldest--my daughter--will be a senior this year! Yikes, where have the years gone? It is amazing how the Lord is so orderly even with the development of children in that my daughter is really needing her independence. I don't think that she realizes how much she still really needs us, but she will find that out when the world throws her curveballs during the next few years.
I came to appreciate my parents long after I was a senior in high school. I started to really appreciate my parents when I began to have children at the age of 25. The reality of all of their years of hard work and all of the trials I put them through really impacted me at that age...and still to this day.
I hope that it doesn't take my daughter, or any of my children, that long to realize how much we love her and the extent to which we would go to show her the right path.
My youngest son will be going into the second grade at the elementary school and then my next oldest boys will be at the middle school (5th and 8th grade). My oldest son (10 grade) and daughter (12th grade) will be at the high school.
My husband had last week off to be with me and the kids on the anniversary of Caleb's passing. We had a "good" week considering the circumstances. We did go on some day trips despite the fact that it felt like it was 95 degrees out with 90 % humidity. At some points I thought it would start raining inside our house it was so humid!
We ended up going to the local aquarium, the ocean, a corn maze (my family got very lost!), took some dips in our friend's pool and overall enjoyed each other's company.
My husband is a very motivated person and also put in a cement (poured it himself) stone walkway from an arbor that we have all the way to our back deck. It came out great.
I was sad to see my husband go back to work this Monday, but glad that he has a job during these difficult economic times. Thank you God!
My children will go back to school on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. I will be getting up at 5:30 again starting then. I have enjoyed "sleeping in" a bit this summer.
I hope that this finds you all sipping in the last days of summer and enjoying your families.
With love and hope,
Cheryl
Psalm 31:24Be strong and let your heart take courage,All you who hope in the LORD.
My oldest--my daughter--will be a senior this year! Yikes, where have the years gone? It is amazing how the Lord is so orderly even with the development of children in that my daughter is really needing her independence. I don't think that she realizes how much she still really needs us, but she will find that out when the world throws her curveballs during the next few years.
I came to appreciate my parents long after I was a senior in high school. I started to really appreciate my parents when I began to have children at the age of 25. The reality of all of their years of hard work and all of the trials I put them through really impacted me at that age...and still to this day.
I hope that it doesn't take my daughter, or any of my children, that long to realize how much we love her and the extent to which we would go to show her the right path.
My youngest son will be going into the second grade at the elementary school and then my next oldest boys will be at the middle school (5th and 8th grade). My oldest son (10 grade) and daughter (12th grade) will be at the high school.
My husband had last week off to be with me and the kids on the anniversary of Caleb's passing. We had a "good" week considering the circumstances. We did go on some day trips despite the fact that it felt like it was 95 degrees out with 90 % humidity. At some points I thought it would start raining inside our house it was so humid!
We ended up going to the local aquarium, the ocean, a corn maze (my family got very lost!), took some dips in our friend's pool and overall enjoyed each other's company.
My husband is a very motivated person and also put in a cement (poured it himself) stone walkway from an arbor that we have all the way to our back deck. It came out great.
I was sad to see my husband go back to work this Monday, but glad that he has a job during these difficult economic times. Thank you God!
My children will go back to school on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. I will be getting up at 5:30 again starting then. I have enjoyed "sleeping in" a bit this summer.
I hope that this finds you all sipping in the last days of summer and enjoying your families.
With love and hope,
Cheryl
Psalm 31:24Be strong and let your heart take courage,All you who hope in the LORD.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
One Year Since We Said Goodbye
Today, August 20, 2009, marks one year since our beloved son Caleb (17 months old) went to be in Heaven. It was a tragic accident that took the life of our son.
Caleb was trying to get out of his crib, without us realizing it, and he got his head stuck in between the bottom of the top bunk bed (which was adjacent to his crib) and the top of his crib. My husband found him in that position in the morning. That was the day that has changed us more than any other single physical event in our lives.
We love him dearly and miss him more than words can say. He came into the world as a wonderful surprise and left us so tragically and quickly.
A friend of ours sent us this in the mail today:
By Annie Johnson Flint
He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed when the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
We may never know why, but we do know where--Heaven. We are only separated from you Caleb by our years left here on earth. God...give him a big hug for us.
May we all hold our loved ones a little closer tonight.
With Love and Hope my friends,
Cheryl
Caleb was trying to get out of his crib, without us realizing it, and he got his head stuck in between the bottom of the top bunk bed (which was adjacent to his crib) and the top of his crib. My husband found him in that position in the morning. That was the day that has changed us more than any other single physical event in our lives.
We love him dearly and miss him more than words can say. He came into the world as a wonderful surprise and left us so tragically and quickly.
A friend of ours sent us this in the mail today:
By Annie Johnson Flint
He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed when the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
We may never know why, but we do know where--Heaven. We are only separated from you Caleb by our years left here on earth. God...give him a big hug for us.
May we all hold our loved ones a little closer tonight.
With Love and Hope my friends,
Cheryl
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Ultrasound Results
The ultrasound for our baby girl was scheduled for 10:00 this morning. My husband has been wonderful about coming to all of the ultrasounds that I've had while pregnant this time around and being there for any appointment that I may have some anxiety about. Today would be no exception.
I wondered if the Choroid Plexus Cysts that they had seen in my last ultrasound, when I was 18 weeks along would still be present. The cysts are a "marker" for Trisomy 18 and I'm at a higher risk of having a baby with Trisomy 18 because of my age (41) and then with this "marker" the likelihood is even higher of our baby having Trisomy 18. I am now 30 weeks along (today).
I have been struggling so much in the recent past with trying to come to grips that it has been almost a year since our little Caleb died, that I wondered if I would be able to handle the appointment without being overcome with emotion.
The technician Brenda immediately focused on the baby's head, which is where the cysts were present at 18 weeks. I have had enough ultrasounds that I was pretty sure I knew what "normal" looked like and I knew that, as far as I could see, there weren't any cysts anymore! She made no measurements like they had at the 18 week ultrasound (to measure the cysts).
She then went on to measure other body parts...abdomen, femur, etc. She told me at the end that my baby is already over four pounds, and is 10 days ahead, development wise, of my due date. I have big babies, so this is "normal" for me. Caleb was 11 pounds 1 ounce at 39 weeks when he was delivered.
My husband and I then got to see my doctor and he confirmed NO CYSTS!!!!!!!!! :)))))))) We were so happy and the doctor was too. He said that was good news. My chances of having a baby with Trisomy 18 just lessened with that result.
He pointed out that I have a little more amniotic fluid than "normal", which could be caused by the fact that I am pregnant with a big baby, which can be the cause of extra fluid. He is going to watch me closely so that he will notice if the fluid increases. He said that I might have to come in every week to be hooked up to monitors if he should notice too big of an increase in fluid, which may indicate other issues.
Never a dull moment, but I'm hoping that the good news that the cysts have gone away will allow me to entertain the thought of having this new baby without worrying if she will live or not. I want to be able to hold her and bring her home, not tell her goodbye.
Thanks for all of the prayers. I appreciate your thoughtfulness more than you know.
With Hope,
Cheryl
I wondered if the Choroid Plexus Cysts that they had seen in my last ultrasound, when I was 18 weeks along would still be present. The cysts are a "marker" for Trisomy 18 and I'm at a higher risk of having a baby with Trisomy 18 because of my age (41) and then with this "marker" the likelihood is even higher of our baby having Trisomy 18. I am now 30 weeks along (today).
I have been struggling so much in the recent past with trying to come to grips that it has been almost a year since our little Caleb died, that I wondered if I would be able to handle the appointment without being overcome with emotion.
The technician Brenda immediately focused on the baby's head, which is where the cysts were present at 18 weeks. I have had enough ultrasounds that I was pretty sure I knew what "normal" looked like and I knew that, as far as I could see, there weren't any cysts anymore! She made no measurements like they had at the 18 week ultrasound (to measure the cysts).
She then went on to measure other body parts...abdomen, femur, etc. She told me at the end that my baby is already over four pounds, and is 10 days ahead, development wise, of my due date. I have big babies, so this is "normal" for me. Caleb was 11 pounds 1 ounce at 39 weeks when he was delivered.
My husband and I then got to see my doctor and he confirmed NO CYSTS!!!!!!!!! :)))))))) We were so happy and the doctor was too. He said that was good news. My chances of having a baby with Trisomy 18 just lessened with that result.
He pointed out that I have a little more amniotic fluid than "normal", which could be caused by the fact that I am pregnant with a big baby, which can be the cause of extra fluid. He is going to watch me closely so that he will notice if the fluid increases. He said that I might have to come in every week to be hooked up to monitors if he should notice too big of an increase in fluid, which may indicate other issues.
Never a dull moment, but I'm hoping that the good news that the cysts have gone away will allow me to entertain the thought of having this new baby without worrying if she will live or not. I want to be able to hold her and bring her home, not tell her goodbye.
Thanks for all of the prayers. I appreciate your thoughtfulness more than you know.
With Hope,
Cheryl
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Ten Things About Me
Link up your blog if you'd like so I (and others) can get to know you.
see: lynnettekraft.blogspot.com
Lynnette came up with a fun way that we "All" can get to know each other with this being said, she would like to know 10 things about each of us! Sound like fun?!? I think it does so here's my 10 things about me...
2. I have been married for 21 years.
3. My husband and I share the same birthday (same day in August)--although he is four years older. I am 41 years old.
4. I have seven children (two girls and five boys) My oldest daughter who is 17, Boys aged 15, 13, 11, and 7 years. My youngest two are: Caleb in heaven (died on August 20, 2008 at 17 months of age) and a wee one (another daughter) still in my womb due on October 18th.
5. My vices are chocolate, Diet Coke and sudoku puzzles.
6. I love to scrapbook.
7. I have always been a very happy and outgoing person who is trying hard to start working my way back from this deep grief.
8. My children wanted me to add that I make my children do chores, help make meals and force them to read (they actually love to read) :)
9. I used to question (before Caleb died) the other ladies at the Bible studies that I attend as to why some people have so many trials in their life and I had it so easy compared to most. It was like I was waiting for the "ball to drop". My life changed last August.
10. I have a strong faith in God (am Christian) and about a month before Caleb died a friend and I were talking about "what if" one of our children died...would we be able to survive. My friend said that she would never survive. I told her that I thought I would...that I could make it with God's help. I never thought it would be this difficult...but I was right...I am surviving with God's help. He has had to carry me.
With Hope,
Cheryl
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Summer is Humming Along
My children are all settled in again. Kids are home from camp and had a great time.
I am feeling good. My nurse called me last week after my 28 week check up and told me that my sugar level was 139. She said that if it had been one point more she would have had me do the three hour glucose test. I think that my doctor, at my apt. next week, might decide to do the three hour anyways.
My last baby...dear Caleb...was 11 pounds one ounce at birth and I didn't have gestational diabetes! I was given a c-section (my first c-section) one week before my due date with him.
I already think that this baby is big. I am 29 weeks along and the baby seems to like to settle in under my ribcage.
Also, my nurse indicated that my iron is really low. Maybe that explains my total lack of motivation. I hope that a supplement of iron will help.
I have had many concerns with this baby that I'm pregnant with. I think that once you lose a baby, life is never the same. When I had my last ultrasound a marker showed up that might indicate that my baby has Trisomy 18. That is not a good diagnosis if it turns out to be true.
I did have a blood screen done previous to the ultrasound that did not indicate that my baby has Down's or Trisomy 18, but because of my age, I still have a higher chance of having a baby with health problems including those, especially with the marker that they found.
I have tried to put it into the Lord's hands and to "be anxious for nothing". I tell myself that if I can make it through the death of a child, I can make it through anything.
That is not to say that I don't pray that I hope it is God's will that this baby be born healthy and without major medical concerns. That is my fervent prayer.
I will have another ultrasound on August 11th and it will indicate whether or not the marker has "gone away" or whether it is still there. If it is still there (cysts in my baby's head) it means that there is still a chance that my baby is not well.
I have not shared this information with my family and most of my friends. I guess I feel it is safe to share it on a blog, which I have not told anyone close to me about.
My children as well as myself and my husband know that life is fragile, since Caleb's death. We pray together every night that the baby is healthy and will be born that way. They know that things can change very quickly, as it did with Caleb. We try not to take anything for granted anymore...especially each other.
I pray that you feel the Lord's presence today,
With Hope,
Cheryl
I am feeling good. My nurse called me last week after my 28 week check up and told me that my sugar level was 139. She said that if it had been one point more she would have had me do the three hour glucose test. I think that my doctor, at my apt. next week, might decide to do the three hour anyways.
My last baby...dear Caleb...was 11 pounds one ounce at birth and I didn't have gestational diabetes! I was given a c-section (my first c-section) one week before my due date with him.
I already think that this baby is big. I am 29 weeks along and the baby seems to like to settle in under my ribcage.
Also, my nurse indicated that my iron is really low. Maybe that explains my total lack of motivation. I hope that a supplement of iron will help.
I have had many concerns with this baby that I'm pregnant with. I think that once you lose a baby, life is never the same. When I had my last ultrasound a marker showed up that might indicate that my baby has Trisomy 18. That is not a good diagnosis if it turns out to be true.
I did have a blood screen done previous to the ultrasound that did not indicate that my baby has Down's or Trisomy 18, but because of my age, I still have a higher chance of having a baby with health problems including those, especially with the marker that they found.
I have tried to put it into the Lord's hands and to "be anxious for nothing". I tell myself that if I can make it through the death of a child, I can make it through anything.
That is not to say that I don't pray that I hope it is God's will that this baby be born healthy and without major medical concerns. That is my fervent prayer.
I will have another ultrasound on August 11th and it will indicate whether or not the marker has "gone away" or whether it is still there. If it is still there (cysts in my baby's head) it means that there is still a chance that my baby is not well.
I have not shared this information with my family and most of my friends. I guess I feel it is safe to share it on a blog, which I have not told anyone close to me about.
My children as well as myself and my husband know that life is fragile, since Caleb's death. We pray together every night that the baby is healthy and will be born that way. They know that things can change very quickly, as it did with Caleb. We try not to take anything for granted anymore...especially each other.
I pray that you feel the Lord's presence today,
With Hope,
Cheryl
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