Three Years Ago...

Caleb was born.

I have had a difficult week. It has been sprinkled with tears of the memories of my cute little mischievous boy and the truth that he is no longer with us.

Miss you so much little one. **tears** I'm glad that I didn't know at the time that you would only have one birthday. You have made such a difference in our lives. We love you and know that we will see you again in Heaven.

This is a "must-watch" for anyone going through a trial that seems overwhelming at times: http://www.ligonier.org/learn/conferences/holiness_00_national/a-bruised-reed/

It is Joni Eareckson Tada. You will be inspired.

Eagerly awaiting Heaven...Love you! Mommy

My Cork Board

This may not look like much to someone else, but to me, it is a huge part of my world...my (immediate) family on my cork board in front of where I sit at the computer. I am so happy to have finally organized it and placed the pictures of my family on it. Everytime I look at it now I am reminded of them and I will pray for each of them. I thank God for each of them and pray to God that we all will be together in Heaven some day.

Caleb's birthday (my son who is in Heaven) is on Friday and I have a lot on my mind these days. My Aunt, who shares the same birthday as my husband and I is dying of brain cancer and as of yesterday they gave her two weeks to live. She is my mom's only sister and although she is fifteen years older than my mom, they are best friends.

James 5:16b
The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Please keep my in your prayers as Caleb's birthday approaches. It is such a sad time for me.

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God is wonderful in how he orchestrates things. Caleb's birthday is shortly after February school vacation and his birthday into Heaven is during school's summer vacation. If my children weren't around I think that I would be curled up in a fetal position on the couch. It is probably a really good thing that I am surrounded by children during these difficult and dark times.

I had minor surgery a week and a half ago on my eyelids to remove some cysts that developed over the last year and a half. I also twisted my foot last week to the point that shortly after it happened I crawled around on my hands and knees for the rest of the night...even crawling up/down the stairs! I was laughing so hard...it was either laugh or cry.

My oldest son said to me (because my baby had her four month check up the following day), "What is the pediatrician going to think...you have two black eyes and you are going to be limping?". What a mess I was. I actually told the doctor about my surgery at the end of the baby's checkup and I think that he was relieved that I explained about my eyes. I can just imagine what he was thinking!

I am hoping to continue to feel motivated. I need to lose some weight and hope that the weather gets warmer soon. Maybe the baby will enjoy walks in the spring :)

My love to all of you and your families,
With hope,
Cheryl

RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

Thank you Trennia (http://stillservinghimthroughthestorm.blogspot.com) for these questions and here are my answers:

1. How old will you be in five years? 47 years old


2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? My husband and six living children


3. How tall are you? 5 feet 3 inches tall


4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? I look forward to getting a lot of college paperwork and scholarship applications, etc. out of the way. My oldest daughter, my first born, will be leaving for college in August.

5. What’s the last movie you saw at the theater? Ink Heart. It was free at the movie theater this past summer.

6. Who was the last person you called? The last person that I called was my mother to find out about my Aunt Bin who has brain cancer.

7. Who was the last person to call you? The last person to call me was my friend Sherry...my friend who never made it to the hospital and ended up having her second baby at home, when I was there with her and her husband in 1994.

8. What was the last text message you received? The last text message I received was from my daughter saying that she was going to a basketball game.

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? The last person to leave me a voicemail was my friend Sherry (see question #7)

10. Do you prefer to call or text? I like both...

11. What were you doing at 12am last night? I was crawling into bed at 12 last night.

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? My parents and my husband's parents are still married to each other.

13. When is the last time you saw your mom? I saw my parents and my husband's parents on Monday of this week.

14. What color are your eyes? brown

15. What time did you wake up today? I woke up around 7:00, I believe.

16. What are you wearing right now? Maternity pants (still--ugh--can't fit into my regular ones!) and a red shirt with slippers :)

17. What is your favorite Christmas song? I love most of the Christian Christmas songs...don't have a favorite that I can think of.

18. Where is your favorite place to be? My favorite place to be would be with my husband and children.

19. Where is your least favorite place to be? I agree with Trennia...where there is conflict.

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? I can't wait to go to Heaven, but here on earth I'd have to say the ocean.

21. Where do you think you’ll be in 10 years? At the age of 52 my youngest will be in 4th grade I believe and my oldest will be 28. I will hopefully have some married children and possibly some grandbabies :)

22. Do you tan or burn? I burn!

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Something outside was lurking.

24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh? Hearing my four month old baby belly laugh...priceless!

25. How many TVs do you have in your house? five--yikes! We do limit tv though...no tv at all during the week and limited on weekends. We have a lot of older tvs for the kids to play electronics on the weekends...although that time is limited too.

26. How big is your bed? Our bed is Queen sized.

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? I have a desktop computer. My husband just bought me a lighted up keyboard that has silent keys--LOVE IT!!!!

28. What color are your sheets? I think that they are light blue flannel with snowmen on them :)

29. How many pillows do you sleep with? I sleep with three pillows.

30. What is your favorite season? My favorite season is Autumn.

31. What do you like about Autumn? I love our New England foliage.

32. What do you like about winter? I love the way everything looks with a fresh coat of snow.

Passing of Time

I realized that this month marks 17 months since Caleb died. He was 17 months old when he died. He will now have been in Heaven longer than he was breathing here on earth. How can it be?

Idols

I'm not talking about American Idol...I'm talking about my children's idols---BOOKS!

Did you ever hear a mother tell her children that their books were becomming idols? I did this afternoon. Sounds crazy, yes?! Two of my boys (aged 15 and 11) are reading the same series and each have their own books from that series from two different libraries (public and school). They are competing to see who can read the fastest and are constantly fighting about the books and to the point that they are getting into fights about them on the bus (poking not hitting--yet).

They could care less about anything other than their books. The house could be burning down and they wouldn't care (probably a slight exaggeration). Oh well, I know...things could be worse, but believe me, until you've walked in my shoes, you will never understand :0

Scrapbooking Dreams

I often think about scrapbooking, about what I should crop, what events I should be journaling, about what pictures I should be using, about the fact that my daughter is going to be graduating this year and I always planned to have her album done as a gift for her graduation (but it has a loooooooong way to go), about all the baby pictures I'm taking that are going to need to be placed in an album...

And then I remember that my life doesn't have time for my scrapbooking hobby right now. I have a baby to be nurtured and that time is so short and sweet, that I need to enjoy my baby now before she is all grown up. The pictures aren't going anywhere and I know, soon enough I will be able to crop again...but for now I will pause for a bit.

Do any of my blogging friends out there scrapbook? Any pages that are special to you that you would enjoy sharing? I will try and think of some pages that I would like to share with you and make a post about them.

I'm also trying to do a small managable job of trying to decorate the cork board that hangs above my desk. I actually use a couple of file cabinets and a desktop that my husband made for me to place on top of them as a desk. I never really thought about it, but I spend enough of my "moments in between" at my desk and thought it would be wonderful if my board would reflect "me". I will also try and post a picture of that when I'm done. It might be 2014 before it actually happens, but I'm hoping it will be sooner :)

With love and hope,
Cheryl

January Thoughts and Things

It has been a while since I've blogged so I thought that I would reconnect with everyone.

A friend from church, who is like a grandmother to my children (my parents and in-laws all live about 2 hours away from us) made a gorgeous quilt for little Elisabeth. I thought I would share it with all of you. I can't imagine how long it took her to make it. My friend recently lost her husband...today is actually the 1st anniversary of the death of her husband. She has been such a blessing to me and my family.

Caleb only experienced one winter...he was born in February of 2007 so he never really experienced that winter and he died in August of 2008 so I thought that I would post a couple of pictures of him looking out the window at his daddy snowblowing our sidewalk. I never knew that he would never get the chance to help his daddy clear the driveway or the sidewalk.

What I wouldn't do to have those fingerprints still on my windows.

I used to work with a girl from my hometown over 20 years ago. We have been friends ever since. She moved away to Florida about 20 years ago and I moved here about 15 years ago. She had never seen my home until she visited me on Monday. What a blessing her visit was. Her daughter died at the age of 29 years old from cancer last year.

Although I would never wish the death of a child on anyone, I am thankful that we can support each other in our struggles. She is a strong Christian, which is always a wonderful gift, but even more importantly when your world as you know it comes tumbling down around you.

I received a cute poem from a griefshare email group I belong to and I thought I'd share it with you. It can pertain to most any trial.

Lessons From an Oyster
Author - Unknown

There once was an oyster
Whose story I tell,
Who found that some sand
Had got into his shell.
It was only a grain,
but it gave him great pain.
For oysters have feelings
Although they're so plain.
Now, did he berate
the harsh workings of fate (although I really don't believe in fate)
That had brought him
To such a deplorable state?
Did he curse at the government,
Cry for election,
And claim that the sea should
Have given him protection?
'No,' he said to himself
As he lay on a shell,
Since I cannot remove it,
I shall try to improve it.
Now the years have rolled around,
As the years always do,
And he came to his ultimate
Destiny ­ stew.
And the small grain of sand
That had bothered him so
Was a beautiful pearl
All richly aglow.
Now the tale has a moral,
for isn't it grand
What an oyster can do
With a morsel of sand?
What couldn't we do
If we'd only begin
With some of the things
That get under our skin.

My mom just told me that she donated money to a charity that repairs children's mouths in poor countries that have cleft pallets. She and my father donated enough for the doctor's to repair one child's "SMILE". I am so touched by that. They did it in memory of Caleb. Good things do come out of horrible situations. I just have to remember to focus on the good.

My love to you and your families,

With love and hope and hugs,

Cheryl