To all of my friends out there who have lost a child/children, know that you are in my prayers at this time of the year and forever. For I know that grief lasts a lifetime when one has lost a child/ren.
I am struggling at times to not get in a rut with my grief. I cried, for the first time in over a year (Caleb died 15 months ago) on the phone with my mom this morning. I try not to cry around my extended family (meaning anyone in my family besides my husband and children). I usually share/cry more with my close friends.
I have been blessed with another child this year and it has brought up more feelings of grief, but also more joy. It is bittersweet.
We will still hang up Caleb's stocking and we will add the baby's this year. I will wonder how to handle the Christmas picture. Should I try to include Caleb in it and if so, how? Will I make my children more sad to have one of them hold a picture of Caleb, or just not include Caleb at all? Caleb is still such a huge part of this family even though his residence is in Heaven.
Can anyone hear his absence from this earthly home? It's screaming.
Hello! I am a wife, married for 23 years and a mother to seven. I have two daughters and five sons, one of whom is in heaven. We love the Lord are trying to bring our children up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4) We live in the Northeast in a cozy 100+ year old house. Welcome to my blog.
My heart is breaking for you and your family. No words can comfort or fill the void...I can only offer words of PEACE and HEALING for you, Cheryl. I have often thought how can people just carry on with life when my child is struggling for life. I cannot imagine how hard it must be...
ReplyDeleteThe pain just aches. I'm going to a post on how we will celebrate Isaiah this Christmas. It's "Walking With You." Anybody can join in with their post. If you feel like doing it, just click on the "Walking With You" button in my sidebar. Hang in there friend. We are all in this grief together.
ReplyDeleteLove and God Bless,
Jenny
Oh, my friend, know that our hearts hurt for you and that we are praying for you. The holidays are always so hard...may you be filled with a peace and a joy forever more.
ReplyDeleteMy friend I understand...it's hard to figure out what to do because we want to include our child/ren that are no longer here.When we went to tenn. in 2008 I took Emily's picture with us,then this year when we went to fl. I took her picture and well I just feel I must include her.
ReplyDeleteMy husband dressed up as santa last year and I took his picture next to Emily's headstone/grave.
Whatever you choose just know your sweet boy knows how much you love him and no matter what neither one of us will forget our babies no matter the length of time we had them.
i have NO idea how it feels to lose a child that has been born alive. but i know how empty my heart feels for the three that i have lost through miscarriage. i can't imagine!
ReplyDeletemy husband's brother was killed in a car accident at the age of six. the next family picture they had done they had him sort of airbrushed in? it looks really nice and still included him.
i say do whatever your heart is leading you to do!!
I don't know what the right answer is....
ReplyDeleteI guess follow your heart and do what feels right for you and your family.
I hope that you can find good times in the coming days without dishonouring Caleb's memory..
Cheryl,
ReplyDeleteIn my blog post I hope you didn't take it that I was saying you was replacing your Caleb.By know way would I ever say that.This had to do with someone else I have been following for along time.She would get pissed off (I mean cursing mad), not just sad..because she had not gotten pregnant while other's where.I can relate to the sadness & upsetness to a certain degree, but not hate those that can bare children and hate God because I can not have more! Well that's how she was becoming! Then she got pregnant recently and is getting an early scan because if her unborn child is sick like the last child that died,that she will terminate so they can try again and have a healthy baby! So she wanted God to give her another baby, but now that she is pregnant she is putting condissions on her childs life and knows nothing to be wrong,but even if so she already plans to kill the baby if it's sick! It just upsetted me so bad, that if you beg God enough for a baby unconditionally and He answered your prayer then except the gift, no matter the condition because she begged and complained of others having a child while she yet couldn't her son has not been gone an entire year.She has several children...and she felt she must have another and if she couldn't then God was a bad God! I didn't wanna go this far with things she has said,but my friend in no means would I ever say you had another child to replace Caleb.I couldn't email you,I couldn't figure out how too.You can delete this after reading if ya want too.If I could have had another child I would have to, but never would I put a condition on a child to kill it if it's sick! That's God's will, if it's healthy that's God's will also.
(((HUGS)))
Trennia