There are a few things that have been on my mind recently having to do with Caleb's death.
It is curious as to how grief changes and goes forward through the almost three years since his death.
Just this week my youngest living son, who hadn't talked recently about Caleb, described to me what Caleb looked like when he had died. I had no idea that my youngest living son had seen Caleb. I (We) tried, as to the best of my remembrance, to shield the children from the sight of their little brother. It immediately brought tears to my eyes and I mourn for my little Caleb, as well as my living children again...that they had to see/endure that at such young ages.
In our case Caleb did not look like himself when we found him. I'm am not saying that is the case when other loved ones have died, but in our case I instinctively wanted to shield them, maybe even from the pain, although in retrospect, that was never going to happen on this side of Heaven.
Something that gives me some comfort, that I'm not sure that I've mentioned it here before is that I believe that Caleb's life was complete.
Psalm 139:16
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
God knew before Caleb was even conceived when/how/where his last breaths would be.
That is not to say that I am not overwhelmingly sad about the fact that Caleb had such a short time here on earth, but somehow it gives me a little comfort in remembering that this is part of God's big plans. He is interested in our spiritual state--eternally speaking--more than anything else.
I am thankful for two gifts in Caleb's memory...one is a monetary gift to the SMILE Foundation to help perform surgery on children in poor countries who have cleft palates and another gift for the arbor foundation that a tree was planted. People don't realize how much it touches a grieving mom to know that others still remember their beloved child.
I am thankful that it suddenly seems like God is putting many people in my path who are hurting, grieving, and calling out for help. I am also thankful that I have something significant to share with them...which is, although we are sinners, "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
With love and Hope my blogging friends,
Cheryl
It is curious as to how grief changes and goes forward through the almost three years since his death.
Just this week my youngest living son, who hadn't talked recently about Caleb, described to me what Caleb looked like when he had died. I had no idea that my youngest living son had seen Caleb. I (We) tried, as to the best of my remembrance, to shield the children from the sight of their little brother. It immediately brought tears to my eyes and I mourn for my little Caleb, as well as my living children again...that they had to see/endure that at such young ages.
In our case Caleb did not look like himself when we found him. I'm am not saying that is the case when other loved ones have died, but in our case I instinctively wanted to shield them, maybe even from the pain, although in retrospect, that was never going to happen on this side of Heaven.
Something that gives me some comfort, that I'm not sure that I've mentioned it here before is that I believe that Caleb's life was complete.
Psalm 139:16
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
God knew before Caleb was even conceived when/how/where his last breaths would be.
That is not to say that I am not overwhelmingly sad about the fact that Caleb had such a short time here on earth, but somehow it gives me a little comfort in remembering that this is part of God's big plans. He is interested in our spiritual state--eternally speaking--more than anything else.
I am thankful for two gifts in Caleb's memory...one is a monetary gift to the SMILE Foundation to help perform surgery on children in poor countries who have cleft palates and another gift for the arbor foundation that a tree was planted. People don't realize how much it touches a grieving mom to know that others still remember their beloved child.
I am thankful that it suddenly seems like God is putting many people in my path who are hurting, grieving, and calling out for help. I am also thankful that I have something significant to share with them...which is, although we are sinners, "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
With love and Hope my blogging friends,
Cheryl
(((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry this is a very hard difficult road for your family may the Lord bless you and comfort your family.Caleb is such a beautiful boy regradless of how he went to be with the Lord, just remember the good times...love you my friend.