Who Turned the Lights Off?

Just checking in briefly after almost three days/nights without electricity. Dear Irene, the hurricane/tropical storm, plowed a path through my area and caused many downed trees and damage. That, in turn, caused a huge area to lose their electricity.

I n.e.v.e.r. want to have to take another cold shower in my life! I appreciate every little thing that I took for granted before we lost electricity on Sunday morning.

You realize that you are about to "lose it" when you start making up songs with your children about generators and flashlights lol

I will post pictures of our recent vacation soon. We had a wonderful time and can't wait to go again next year, Lord willing.

My children were supposed to start school tomorrow, but because a large portion of our town is still without electricity, they will start on Thursday.

Blessings to you, my friends!

Birthdays Galore

Happy Birthday to my dear husband who says he loves me "to the beach and back". Totally appropriate being that we are leaving for the beach tomorrow and will be there for a week. We are looking forward to some time together as a family without electronic devices and distractions like housework ;)

As I stated in my previous post...my husband and I share a birthday and my second oldest son's birthday is on August 14th. Can't believe he will be 15! Wow!

I feel as though I have had a lump in my throat for a while now and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I have been quite down lately and am trying to find a way out of my slump. I have so much to be thankful for, but at times life gets me down.

Just dealing with the loss of a child alone is a lot to deal with and then on top of it there is so much responsibility of "responsibly" running a household and having to address all sorts of different age appropriate struggles with children that range in age from 19 down to 1 year old.

I am going to try and grow even closer to God as we will be at the ocean. I need Him now more than ever before. I find that I feel so close to God there...you can't help but notice His handiwork all around you in that beautiful landscape. That is the last place that we spent with Caleb (the ocean) so that is also a factor in my emotions, I'm sure. We will be coming home on the day that Caleb went home to be with Jesus three years ago.

Take Care my friends,
With Hope,
Cheryl


James 4:8a
Come near to God and he will come near to you.

Hard

Grieving is hard...

No words to describe the hollow place in your heart...

I still haven't really regained my sense of time since Caleb died...

isn't it still August of 2008?

I am sitting here tonight putting a slide show together of Caleb's life. I am thankful for the time that we had together, but it wasn't nearly enough for me. I am human and I want more time...I want to die before my children.

This time of year is so difficult for me. What should be a celebratory time...with both mine and my husband's birthday on August 12th and our second oldest son's on the 14th we should be looking forward to celebrating the gift of our loved ones births...

Instead I have to face the fact that every time I drive by that cemetery in the center of town (that I hardly noticed before Caleb died), it contains the remains of my son...It may sound morbid, but his curly locks are still preserved in the ground. I think about those things. A grieving mom does.

I notice the other grave sites that contain the remains of children and I mourn with them for their babies. How can I not. I will never be the same.

I cry more and I feel more.

The Lord has blessed our family and I am grateful for that. I do find, most days, that I am doing much better than I was in the beginning of this grief battle.

On days like this, when I see so many pictures with Caleb, so full of life, I mourn like I did in the beginning of this realization that he is not ever going to be with me/us on earth again.

I look forward to Heaven and being with my Heavenly Father and my beloved, little son Caleb.

May I glorify God with what I have learned from this difficult trial. That is my prayer. I don't want to waste this trial...it is too big a trial to not learn from and try and help. God give me the words and the focus to help someone.

Tearful in New England
But not without Hope,
Goodnight my blogging friends,
Cheryl

Bikes and Bouquets and By All Means

Thought that I would pop in and post a few pictures of our last couple of days.

As I had said in my last post, our garden is producing so quickly. I decided that the lettuce was just too pretty to eat right away, so I made a table arrangement with it! My kids loved it...

My husband loves to bike and has all of the children interested in it. When he takes out the older children, Elisabeth is not left out...nor would she allow him to leave without her. She is adorable in her little pink helmet.

Two of my most precious people...hubby and Elisabeth.

I had purchased a pre-made gingerbread house making kit for Christmas 2010. I never got around to making it and my youngest living son asked me again on Friday if I would help him make it. I had the time because three of his siblings were gone to a local amusement park with the youth group.

It was Christmas in July here at our home. My son was so cute. After I apologized for taking so long to help him make it he said "It doesn't matter when we make it...It only matters how much love we put into it." We had so much fun and we put a lot of love into it!

(sorry the pictures aren't very clear...I'm not sure what happened)

Drumroll please.....THE FINAL PRODUCT!!!

Have a great week everyone!
Love and Hope,
Cheryl

Quiet of the Night

Sitting here in the quiet of the house.

I am not usually up at 12:50, but my oldest son went to the drive-in movies tonight and I can't sleep until my peeps are all tucked in.

Thanking God for a week that has been like a whirl-wind...between friends visiting, appointments, a heat wave that keeps the children inside and the normal day to day activities. My life has been very full.

We have been enjoying some of the bounty from my husband's garden. Some have described it as a jungle--out of control. The tomato plants are over six feet tall and starting to get lots of little and not so little green tomatoes on them. The lettuce is producing at a brisk rate and our string beans, which we all love to snack on fresh, are abundant.

My husband, God love him, is asleep on the couch. He couldn't stay awake until our son came home, but he wanted to stay downstairs with me so I wouldn't be alone.

I have started studying the Bible with a friend of mine. We just completed our first lesson today on Ephesians and we will try to get together every week to discuss the lesson that we have studied throughout the week. I am thankful for this motivation to stay "in the Word".

Goodnight everyone...I think that I will enjoy falling to sleep comforted by this verse (once my son gets home, of course, lol)

Psalm 46:10a
“Be still, and know that I am God"

Reading for Mom and the Kids

My children love to read and I cannot possibly try to keep up with reviewing each book each of my children would like to read to examine it for appropriate content, etc. I have found a couple of wonderful sites that help parents do this. The two sites that I have found the most detailed and thorough are:

http://sites.google.com/site/p​arentalbookreviews/home and
http://www.commonsensemedi​a.org/

I have also found two great sites that review movies. They are:

http://dove.org/reviews.as​p and
http://www.pluggedin.com/

Some of theses sites also review video games, etc. It is so difficult to know if things that your children want to read/watch/play are appropriate sometimes and these sites make it a little easier.

I was reading a post from my daughter on Facebook a few days back and I loved the quote that she posted:

‎"The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." -Elizabeth Kubler Ros

Also, I have started reading a book called "One Thousand Gifts". I have tried to post a link to this site. Hopefully it will work. It is unlike any book that I have read and I am really enjoying it. I think you might too! Check out her website and blog.

With love and Hope, my blogging friends,
Cheryl

Comments are closed.

The Summer Heat and the Summer Beat

The beat of children's footsteps are all over our house 24/7 now. They are "out of the gates" and enjoying the summer so far.

My oldest daughter is busy finding new recipes and has been making us at least one meal a day. She finds the recipes, organizes my cupboards, gets a shopping list together and shops with me too. She has been a huge help this summer and I think that helps her too, considering she doesn't have a job, so it keeps her motivated and busy. Her cooking is delicious!

My oldest son got a job at the local supermarket and is driving a lot more, hoping to try for his license another time. He is happy to have a little money in his pockets (and half is required by us to go into his bank account).

This week I took the children for a swim in a friend's in ground swimming pool. My friends are on vacation for the week and are away from home. They invited our family over anytime for a swim in their absence. The children loved it.

I also brought the children over to a couple's home who attend our church. They have chickens, ducks and the husband is a bee-keeper. He has also worked with sheet metal for most of his life so he showed us his tools and some of his "tricks". They also showed us how they "grafted" different types of apple branches on their apple tree. One tree produces at least three different kinds of apples now! It was a pretty educational experience and fun too.

We have set up a badminton net in our backyard and we have had a lot of fun with it.

My next to oldest son was helping to mow the lawn yesterday and the handle on the mower broke. He tried to move the mower by lifting it up and didn't realize how hot the muffler can get. He got blisters on all five fingers! Luckily he is feeling better today and is no longer in pain.

My oldest daughter called to say that she was in an accident this afternoon. Someone missed a stop sign and drove into the side of her boyfriend's car (Her boyfriend was driving). Luckily he has side impact air bags and a tough car. I am so thankful that God spared them any injuries. The people in the other car were OK except for a few burns on the hands of the other driver from the air bag.

My third son now reviews books for an online review site called Flamingnet.com. He loves to read and now posts his reviews, which show up on different places online, such as Amazon, etc. He has read nine book so far this summer (not all of them were for Flamingnet--some just on his own from the library).

My youngest living son is involved in a summer basketball league and loves it. His first game is on July 7th.

We had my husband's parents here today for some fun. My sister in law came also with her two children. We had such a nice time and beautiful weather. Burgers, hot dogs, potato salad and some desserts made by my daughter.

I have two sisters and both of them were looking for jobs. They both found jobs last week! I'm so thankful that they will have paychecks coming in and benefits, etc. They both have health issues and really need health insurance, so this truly is a blessing!

My one year old daughter is doing great. She never stops moving, until she literally just about passes out at bedtime or for her nap. She loves having the children home for summer vacation. This is Elisabeth playing with her bear. He is sitting in an Adirondack chair that my father made for my older children when they were about her age. She loves it. I've peeked on her rocking in it on the deck when she is "by herself".


What is Elisabeth looking at????

Her new favorite habit, having wrapped her hair elastics around her toes/foot!

We recently replaced out kitchen stove. We had that stove for 23 years! My in laws bought it for us when we were married. It cooked thousands of meals for our family and did a beautiful job. I was a little sad to get rid of it, but not necessarily just because it was a familiar appliance...

One of the things that seems to make me sad since losing Caleb is losing the things that were around, or that he had a part of or touched when he was here. I did not wash the front of the stove for so long after Caleb died. He used to touch the front of the stove with his sticky fingers and I could see the evidence of "him" on it. Months went by and finally I couldn't see them anymore :(. I finally washed the front of it off, but the memories remain and I remind myself they will still remain when the stove is gone too.

I have gone to the cemetery and taken off many of the stuffed animals, etc. that are faded. It is sad to see how time has faded the toys and some of my memories as well. I know that I am finding it harder to remember what he was like and the things he did. I feel blessed that I do have several scrapbooks filled with pictures of him and our family during his life. They help to bring back some of the memories that I have forgotten. Having a large family helps too because we all remember different things that were/are important to us in Caleb's short life.

I have started reading a book called Sandpaper People--Dealing with the Ones Who Rub You the Wrong Way by Mary Southerland. It is really teaching me a lot about patience, forgiveness, being humble, etc.

8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 1 John 4:8, 20

With love and Hope my blogging friends,
Cheryl